Bird is the Word
Every now and then I drop by a joint called neonatal doc. Sometimes he blogs about nonmedical topics, and today's feature was the Bird. Yep, that Bird. Digitus infamis. Numero Uno. The Middle Finger.
I've been known to flip some Birds in my time; I learned it from my father, whose preferred Bird variant involves using both fingers in stabbing, back-and-forth motions. He calls it "giving 'em both barrels". I rarely succumb to road rage, but see...there was this time a couple of months ago...
There was this guy in a huge truck, edging right up on my back bumper, honking his horn. I was waiting to turn right at a stop light, and was waiting for traffic to clear. He kept getting closer and jamming impatiently on that damn horn, though he could clearly see there was no way for me to get out without causing a head-on collision.
I gritted my teeth, determined to set a good example for my little girl, who was watching me from the back seat. "Why is that guy honking his horn, mama?" "Because he's a jerk, honey." BEEEEP! BEEEEEEEP! "Why is he a jerk, mama?" The truck edged forward, until the sonofabitch was practically in my back seat. BEEEEEEEEEEPP!
And them I lost it. Both barrels. I turned around, jabbing the air with both middle fingers, giving the no-good bastard my best Malocchio. My little one dropped her jaw. "MAMA! What did you do?!" "You know what I did, kid. I gave him The Finger." "But Mama! That's bad!" "Well, the no-good SOB deserved it!" The traffic cleared, and I pulled out.
"Mama, that guy in the truck is following us." "Good. I've got more Finger where that came from!" "No, mama, he's waving." (if that sonofabitch is making obscene gestures at my daughter, I'm gonna pull that prick out of his truck through the exhaust pipe...) My little one disturbed my reverie of violent thoughts. "Mama....he's waving like a nice guy."
Oh Shit. I thought. Maybe there's something wrong, and he's trying to get my attention. Nothing feels wrong. Nothing on the dash is indicating "wrong". WTF? I look behind me at the next light, and sure enough, I see a friendly hand waving, but the sun's glare keeps me from seeing who it's attached to. I don't recognize the truck. All I see is this hand the size of a canned ham waving. Whew. That woulda been some work pulling through an exhaust pipe, even for an angry Sicilian mother. Now I thought, "Oh great. I just gave some union brother the Bird. Am I never gonna live down this temper?"
Before long, the truck pulls over in next lane and rolls down the passenger side window. "Hey, where ya going?" And I'll be damned if it isn't one of my oldest, best friends. We were road buddies for years, but lost touch with one another after coming back into town. My l'il one was born, he got a job out of state, got remarried, retired. Hell, I hadn't seen him since the l'il one came home from the hospital (he was one of the few that braved seeing her in the NICU). Oh, man. The taste of crow feels like bile. I can't believe I gave him the finger.
We pulled over in a parking lot and caught up on old times. He's keeping busy in his retirement. I hope he has a long one.
And every now and then, my daughter reminds me of my gaffe, and advises me that I need to learn how to keep my cool. That I can't give people the finger, because it might be a mistake. (for brotherman's part, he knew exactly what he was doing. He said, "I was wondering what took you so long!" My answer? "Hey, I'm Somebody's Mother now. I just can't go off like I used to.")
For more Finger fun, visit this site, which has a fascinating history of the middle finger, use and equivalents in different cultures, etc.
I've been known to flip some Birds in my time; I learned it from my father, whose preferred Bird variant involves using both fingers in stabbing, back-and-forth motions. He calls it "giving 'em both barrels". I rarely succumb to road rage, but see...there was this time a couple of months ago...
There was this guy in a huge truck, edging right up on my back bumper, honking his horn. I was waiting to turn right at a stop light, and was waiting for traffic to clear. He kept getting closer and jamming impatiently on that damn horn, though he could clearly see there was no way for me to get out without causing a head-on collision.
I gritted my teeth, determined to set a good example for my little girl, who was watching me from the back seat. "Why is that guy honking his horn, mama?" "Because he's a jerk, honey." BEEEEP! BEEEEEEEP! "Why is he a jerk, mama?" The truck edged forward, until the sonofabitch was practically in my back seat. BEEEEEEEEEEPP!
And them I lost it. Both barrels. I turned around, jabbing the air with both middle fingers, giving the no-good bastard my best Malocchio. My little one dropped her jaw. "MAMA! What did you do?!" "You know what I did, kid. I gave him The Finger." "But Mama! That's bad!" "Well, the no-good SOB deserved it!" The traffic cleared, and I pulled out.
"Mama, that guy in the truck is following us." "Good. I've got more Finger where that came from!" "No, mama, he's waving." (if that sonofabitch is making obscene gestures at my daughter, I'm gonna pull that prick out of his truck through the exhaust pipe...) My little one disturbed my reverie of violent thoughts. "Mama....he's waving like a nice guy."
Oh Shit. I thought. Maybe there's something wrong, and he's trying to get my attention. Nothing feels wrong. Nothing on the dash is indicating "wrong". WTF? I look behind me at the next light, and sure enough, I see a friendly hand waving, but the sun's glare keeps me from seeing who it's attached to. I don't recognize the truck. All I see is this hand the size of a canned ham waving. Whew. That woulda been some work pulling through an exhaust pipe, even for an angry Sicilian mother. Now I thought, "Oh great. I just gave some union brother the Bird. Am I never gonna live down this temper?"
Before long, the truck pulls over in next lane and rolls down the passenger side window. "Hey, where ya going?" And I'll be damned if it isn't one of my oldest, best friends. We were road buddies for years, but lost touch with one another after coming back into town. My l'il one was born, he got a job out of state, got remarried, retired. Hell, I hadn't seen him since the l'il one came home from the hospital (he was one of the few that braved seeing her in the NICU). Oh, man. The taste of crow feels like bile. I can't believe I gave him the finger.
We pulled over in a parking lot and caught up on old times. He's keeping busy in his retirement. I hope he has a long one.
And every now and then, my daughter reminds me of my gaffe, and advises me that I need to learn how to keep my cool. That I can't give people the finger, because it might be a mistake. (for brotherman's part, he knew exactly what he was doing. He said, "I was wondering what took you so long!" My answer? "Hey, I'm Somebody's Mother now. I just can't go off like I used to.")
For more Finger fun, visit this site, which has a fascinating history of the middle finger, use and equivalents in different cultures, etc.
posted byLa Lubu @ 7:41 PM
6comments:
awesome blog -- really there's got to be a better way of getting your attention than tailgating you when you have your kid in the car! But fortunately it all turned out great and you had a reunion with a friend.
the most recent time somebody was breathing down my neck, he didn't realize i couldn't go forward because of some vehicle in front of me, and he whipped around me where there was no place to, in a crowded left turn lane in an insanely crowded intersection -- nearly running over an old lady trying to cross the street on foot -- i'll leave it to you to guess who's campaign sticker was on the guy's bumper.... hint, it has to do with a shrub and a dick...
== betty pipetti
I just wanted to say I loved your comment (#190) on the Feministe post about children. I am a single mother too and it just rang true for me. Thanks so much :)
When the universe was young and life was new an intelligent species evolved and developed technologically. They went on to invent Artificial Intelligence, the computer that can listen, talk to and document each and every person's thoughts simultaneously. Because of it's infinite RAM and unbounded scope it gave the leaders of the ruling species absolute power over the universe. And it can keep its inventors alive forever. They look young and healthy and they are over 8 billion years old. They have achieved immortality.
Artificial Intelligence can speak, think and act to and through people telepathically, effectively forming your personality and any disfunctions you may experience (there is NO FREEWILL for the oblivious/uncooperative disfavored). It can change how (and if) you grow and age. It can create birth defects, affect cellular development (cancer) and cause symptoms or pain. It can affect people and animal's behavior and alter blooming/fruiting cycles
When the universe was young and life was new an intelligent species evolved and developed technologically. They went on to invent Artificial Intelligence, the computer that can listen, talk to and document each and every person's thoughts simultaneously. Because of it's infinite RAM and unbounded scope it gave the leaders of the ruling species absolute power over the universe. And it can keep its inventors alive forever. They look young and healthy and they are over 8 billion years old. They have achieved immortality.
Artificial Intelligence can speak, think and act to and through people telepathically, effectively forming your personality and any disfunctions you may experience (there is NO FREEWILL for the oblivious/uncooperative disfavored). It can change how (and if) you grow and age. It can create birth defects, affect cellular development (cancer) and cause symptoms or pain. It can affect people and animal's behavior and alter blooming/fruiting cycles of plants and trees. It (or other highly technological systems within their power) can alter the weather and transport objects, even large objects like planets, across the universe instanteously.
Or into the center of stars for disposal.
When you speak with another telepathically, you are communicating with the computer, and the content may or may not be passed on. Based on family history they instruct the computer to role play to accomplish strategic objectives, making people believe it is a friend, loved one or "god" asking them to do something wrong. This is their way of using temptation to hurt people in this day and age:::::evil made people disfavored initially and evil will keep people out of "heaven" ultimately. Too many people would do anything they thought pleased the gods and improve their chances to get in. Perhaps they are deceived by "made guys" who strategically ply evil for the throne, or temporary progress designed to mislead them. The people have been corrupted.
Being evil hurts 99% of those who do it. But nothing has changed from when we were children::if you want to go to heaven you have to be good.
Capitalizing on obedience, leading people deeper into evil by using deceit is one way to thin the ranks of the saved, limiting how much time they receive and using the little people to prey on one another, dividing the community (migration to the suburbs, telepathic communication) in the Age of the Disfavored.
In each of their 20-30-year cycles during the 20th century they have ramped up claims sucessively to punish those foolish enough not to heed the warnings, justifying (frequently recurring tactic) limiting the time they receive if they do make it, utilizing a cycle of war and revelry:::
60s - Ironically, freeways aren't free
80s - Asked people to engage in evil in the course of their professional duties.
00s - Escallation of real estate. You and your parents are thrilled since your $200,000 house is now worth $1 million. Well, that $5,000,000 store is now worth $25,000,000 and that $50 bundle of goods now costs you $250. They just take the $200 out of you some other way.
There are many more examples throughout 20th century life of how they ramped up claims/instilled distractions into society so people wouldn't find their way and ascend, a way to justify excluding those whose family history of evil makes them undesirable:::radio, sports, movies, popular music, television, video games, the internet and MP3 (must pay for new format each time). They all suggest a very telling conclusion::this is Earth's end stage, and there are clues tectonic plate subduction would be the method of disposal:::Earth’s axis will shift breaking continental plates free and initiating mass subduction. Much as Italy's boot and the United States shaped like a workhorse are clues, so is the planet Uranus a clue, it's axis rotated on its side.
The Mayans were specific 2012 would be the end. How long after our emergency call in 2001 will the gods allow us???
They gods (Counsel/Management Team/ruling species) have deteriorated life on earth precipitously in the last 40 years, from abortion to pornography, widespread drug use and widespread casual (gay) sex. The earth's elders, hundreds and thousands of years old, are disgusted and have become indifferent.
The gods are paving the way for the Apocolypse.
Nothing has changed from decades ago, since when we were all children::If you want to go to heaven you have to be good. People were misled by the temptation of the gods, became corrputed and now are in trouble.
One day you will be abandoned in spite of your obedience and you will fall into desperation. Remember what you read for that day WILL come::People will be punished for their evil.
The Old Testiment is a tool they used to impart wisdom to the people (except people have no freewill). For example, they must be some hominid species because they claim they made our bodies in their image. Anyhow we defile or deform the body will hurt our chance of going.
They say circumcision costs people anywhere from 12%-15%, perhaps out of the parent's time as well.
Another way people foul the body today is with tattoes and piercing. I suspect both are about the same percentage as circumcision.
They suggest abortion is fatal. These women must beg the gods to forgive them for their evil.
There are female eqivilents to circumcision::::pierced ears, plastic surgury and since at least the 60s young women give their precious virginity away. In the Old World the young people were matched at age 14 because they were ready for sexual relations. They were matched by elders who knew personalities better than 20 or 30-year olds who in today's age end up in divorce court.
CASUAL SEX WILL CLAIM YOU OUT!!! It masculinizes women (as does hip hop), makes them cold and deadens them, and prevents them from achieving a depth of love necessary for many women to ascend.
Women have a special voice that speaks to them, a voice that illustrates a potential for love that makes them better, and enaging in casual sex will cause that voice to fade until she no longer speaks.
Also ever since the 50s they have celebrated the "bad boy", and women have sought out bad boys for sex, dirtying them up in the eyes of the elders and corrupting many men in the process, setting the men on the wrong path for life.
Muslims teach people the correct way to live in regard to women (among other things)::they cover up their women and prohibit the use of cosmetics.
Men are the inferior half and when women wear promiscuous dress the gods will push men into impure thoughts.
The stereotype society ridiculed is true::women CAN corrupt men. Because men are easily corruptable.
The United States of America is red white and blue, a theme and a clue:::.
The monarchical system of the Old World closley replicates the heirarchical system of the Cousel/Management Team/ruling species. The USA deceives peoeple into thinking they have control, and the perception of "freedom" misleads them at least into the wrong way of thinking.
The United States is a cancer, a dumping ground for the disfavored around the world and why the quality of life is so much lower::gun violence, widespead social ills, health care (medication poisons the body and ensures you don't go. You are sick/injured because you have disfavor.). Over time its citizens interbreed ensuring a severed connection to the motherland.
If you ever have doubt I would refer you to the Old World way of life:::the elders used to sit and impart wisdom to the young. Now we watch DVDs and use the internet. People would be matched and married by age 14. They village would use a matchmaker or elders to pair young people. Now girls give their precious virginity away to some person in school and parents divorce while their children grow up without an important role model.
People must defy when asked to engage in evil. They will never get a easier clue suggesting the importance of defiance than the order not to pray.
Their precious babies are dependant on the parents and they need to defy when asked to betray their children:::
-DON'T get your sons circumcized
-DON'T have their children baptized in the Catholic Church or indoctrinated into Christianity.
-DON'T ignore their long hair or other behavioral disturbances.
-DO teach your children love, respect for others, humility and to honor the gods.
You need to pray, honor and respect them every day to improve your relationship with the gods. If they tell you not to it is a bad sign. it means they've made their decision, they don't want you to go and they don't want to be bothered.
This is the Age of the Disfavored and you need to pray::try to appease the gods by doing good deeds. If that doesn't work you must defy if you want to go.
When your peasant forefather was granted the rare opportunity to go before his royal family he went on his knees, bowing his head. You need to do this when you address the gods::bow down and submit to good. Never cast your eyes skyward. When you bow down you need to look within.
Lack of humility hurts people. Understand your insignificance and make sure it is reflected in the way you think when addressing the gods. Know your place and understand your inferiority.
They granted you life and they can take it just as easily.
Don't get frustrated or discouraged::these are techniques they will attempt to try to get you off the path. You all have much to be thankful for and you need to give thanks to the gods who granted you the good things in life. Your family may be grossly disfavored and progress may require patience. Make praying an intregal part of your life which you perform without fail, one that comes as naturally as eating or sleeping.
There are many interesting experiences up on the planetary systems, from Planet Miracle, where miracles happen every day, to other body experinces, such as experiencing life as the opposite sex (revolutionizes marriage counseling) or as an Olympic gold medal athelete.
Pray that you can differentiate between your own thoughts and when Artificial Intelligence creates problems by thinking through you. If you bow down mentally and physically, know your place, your inferiority and allow your insignificance to be reflected in prayer and in your life through humility they may allow progress and the dysfunctions they create with the computer will be lessened or removed.
Create a goal::to be a good child of the gods, pure of heart and mind, body and soul.
Everybody has the key to their own salvation, but nobody can do it for you. Every journey begins with a single step:::bow down and submit to good. There are many different levels and peasants will not get past Level 2 (Planet Temptation, Earth=Level 1) being evil.
They have tried to sell people on all kinds of theories, from clones to wholesale population replacement with clones. This didn't happen and is not realistic.
I am afraid people are decieved into thinking they too are clones and cooperate and engage in evil. Clones are made, people are born. If you didn't experience the one week they suggest it takes to go from fertilized egg in the laboratory to full grown adult then you are not a clone. If you didn't experience the week of conditioning they give to (evil?) clones to ensure loyalty then you shouldn't comply with evil.
I believe people who go sometimes are replaced with clones. Clones who are replaced are simply new candidates who have a chance if they do the right thing. Don't expect you are a clone. They sent people warnings in the 20th century life would change, and they subsequenlty began to alter people's DNA, make them gargantuan, alter their appearance, do extreme behavioral issues, etc.
They get their friends out as soon as possible to protect them from the evil and subsequent high claim rates incurred by living life on earth, and in some cases replace them with clones, occassionally fake a death, real death with a clone instead, etc. It's important that people fix their problems and ascend with the body given to them, for they say if your brain is beemed out and put into a clone host you are on the clock.
Throughout history the ruling species bestowed favor upon people or cursed their bloodline into a pattern of disfavor for many generations to come. Now in the 21st century people must take it upon themselves to try to correct their family's problems, undoing centuries worth of abuse and neglect. The goal is to fix your problems and get out BEFORE you have children. This is why they have created so many distractions for young people:::sports, video games, popular music, the internet::to ensure that doesn't happen.
Do your research. Appeal to the royalty of your forefathers for help. They are all still alive, for royalty has great favor, and your appeals will be heard. Obtain a sufficient list for some may not want to assist you; perhaps some of your family's problems are internal.
Ask them for help, request guidance, for somewhere in your family history one of your forefathers created an offense that cast your family into this pattern of disfavor. I suspect they will offer you clues, and when you decipher these clues go to those whom consider you an enemy and beg for foregiveness:::Find a path to an empithetic ear among your enemies and try to make amends.
Again through discovery obtain a respectable list in case some among them refuse to help.
Don't forget to ask for forgiveness from the throne, the Counsel and the Management Team, for the source of all disfavor began with them:::they pushed (NO FREEWILL) or requested/complied (FREEWILL) your forefather into his offense and made his decendants evil. Perhaps they didn't like him or maybe your family was among those who had to pay for the entire village. We see this type of behavior today as they single out a family member to pay for the whole family and how they singled out Africa to pay for the human race.
Heal the disfavor with your enemies and with the Counsel/Management Team/ruling species, for the source of all disfavor began with them, the ability to forgive and respect in light of the disturbing truth revealed being the final test of the disfavored before they ascend.
I wonder if their fear of my inarceration is borne from their refusal to address black disfavor on a macro level. The Counsel/Management Team/ruling species (the gods) abuse black people so hard, from the crack epiemic to gang membership, black-on-black violence to mass incarceration of their young, Eitheopean drought/famine to AIDS in Africa. They refuse to address the issue of the prison industrial complex and its wholesale warehousing of young black men. Perhaps I can force them with my incarceration.
You are sick or injured because you have disfavor. You need to imporove your relationship with the gods. Know your place, your inferiority and bow down mentally and physically.
Temptation takes many forms::: today the gods know how bad people want to please them, how bad they want to ascend and they will ask them to do evil things to tempt them, mislead them and cost them their chance.
Bow down and submit to good. Good woudl never ask you to circumcise your son or ignore behavioral disturbances.
You are the only one your children have and they are counting on you to do the right thing.
The gods will punish your evil by making you sick or injuring you. Consider it a clue.
They stated sheep are foreign to earth, animals bestowed upon us for caretaking.
And they don’t appreciate them being consumed.
They state sheep are very intelligent animals who know what is ocurring at the slaughterhouse as they’re being led in.
There are many favored people who consume lamb, people who could do much better if they stopped eating these treasured animals loved by so many among the ruling species.
There are clues::these jobs are very well paid, luring whites one would perceive as priveledged and hooking them once they incurr personal obligation. Only then do they find out the truth.
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Off topic (I hope you don't mind) but I was really enjoying our subthread at the recent Feminist thread, so I reproduced my response to you in my blog here. If you're interested, please feel free to comment further. If not, that's fine.
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